Return of the Jedi

A lot has changed since I last posted on this blog. Actually almost everything. From my marital status, to my surname, to the person I am. It perhaps calls for a new blog altogether. But there's something about this space, this blog, that gets my juices flowing. So I shall keep it and go back to my past, once in a while just so I'm well and truly grounded.
I shall come here to rave and rant, considering I have lost all my dedicated readers here. It should be that much easier for me to pen my thoughts and get a semblance of sanity every now and then.
Some of the people I met here are still my friends, some have vamoosed and there are still others with whom I share a blow-hot blow-cold relationship. Ohh lala! But hey, whether I have anyone reading me or not, I just love being back here. It's like coming back to my cozy little nest. Welcome back Priya!

Lost & Found

Sheer bliss. 16 years later. Over the moon. Didn't ever think if I dig my grave deep enough I might hit a treasure chest.

Now to hang on to the treasure with my life...

V'day starts early

Last Sunday we spent a fking bomb and went for this Mickey Mouse magic show with an ex-colleague of N's( quite a bomb herself) and her son. The cherub, Chrish ("My name is Chrish, with a C," he insists), all of 6 years, and G hit it off at first sight like long lost loves; clinging on to each other like nothing's business. After the show, and a cute photo session, we decided to go and have pizza at Pizza Hut and hang around for a while. The kids had to be taken to the restroom first which we mothers dutifully did, and sent them off to refresh ourselves a bit. From the loo I could hear Gubs wailing at the top of her voice and was feeling most embarrassed. So I rushed and asked her "What's the matter, Dahling?" Still wailing, she replied: "I want to sit with Chrish alone, far away from the parents"!!!

Amen.

XXX Rated

3 unscrupulous women
3x pegs of vodka
3x the voices & vices
XXX rated revelations
3x excited gesticulations

1 broken glass.

Dead woman rising

Dear Life,

Fascinated as I am by your irrepressible energy and innovative means of meting out surprises, must admit, sometimes you do bog me down. The last few months have borne witness to the myriad “situations” (largely sticky) I have been thrown into and the flurry of emotions I have fought, overcome or given in to. And every time I thought it was over and done with, there was a brand new set (or a modified version of an existing one) to deal with.

You give and you take.

You love and you hate.

You tide and you ebb.

You kill and you save.

You have your balance sheet to match, I understand, but at what and whose cost?

So, just for the record, your surprises don’t surprise me anymore. Your curses don’t bother me anymore. Your blessings don’t touch me anymore. For:

Like a bird on the wire,

Like a drunk in an old midnight choir

I have tried in my way to be free.

Rare luxuries

Life's so full now, I hate any semblance of space in the crowd. Baba, Ma, N, G and I. When all of us are in the living room together-- N 3/4th out of the bean bag, sprawled on the floor, G on top of him, I in my sloth bearish (most lyad khawa) posture on the futon and Ma and Baba, the only semblance of propriety, on the chairs - it an mela-esque atmosphere. I ain't complaining, because, I don't have the same luxury when I visit them in Calcutta. So loving every minute of having them around.
Baba's been with us for a month now. Ma arrived a couple of days back. Baba flew down. Ma prefers the good old railroad. No amount of persuasion to get her on to a plane works. Her feet are too well grounded, I say. The train, wonder of wonders, arrived 10 mins before scheduled. She has come with one 24" VIP, a medium-sized red kit bag, a small overnighter, her trademark Guess shopper in which she carries her water bottles, a couple of plastic bags and of course her handbag. The suitcase has wheels so weight doesn't matter. But the red kit bag just can't be lifted. "what's in it, Ma?" "Oh just some stuff I thought you would need," she said, as a hint of embarrassment escaped her voice. Knowing my Ma, that was a really "loaded" answer.
Since she arrived on a weekday, I chose not to ask any more and got on with my daily chores before leaving for work. Ma quietly began pottering around revealing bits and pieces of the treasure she had brought from home and beyond. First, korapaaker jolbhora taalshnash shondesh (sorry non-Bengali readers, it is inexplicable, hence ethereal), white mishti doi (since I abhor the "lal" variety), a bag of "potol"-- some 2 kilos of it. A packet of Dalpuri'r pur, a watermelon, 2 cucumbers and before she came out with more, I left for office. On my return, I am asked what i want to eat. Aahh the bliss of being brought a glass of water, or even being asked about food-- I had quite forgotten about it. While I wallow in the attention, I look around for new additions to my kitchen. None that catches my eye. Very strange, I say to myself in the most Poirot-esque undertone. I wander leisurely in to the guest room and Voila! The flap of the red kit bag lies listlessly on the floor revealing stacks of "potato". Yes Potato -- in medium and small sizes. "MAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" I don't try muffling such screams, I don't believe they should be. "Ki holo?" She comes running. "Eta ki korecho?" "Egulo Doshghora'r chasher aloo," she says with the most unabashed smile (Doshghora is a pristine little village in Hooghly district where my Ma hails from. It's my Transcendental world). She's brought FIVE kgs of home-grown potatoes!
I know these days we pay for every morsel of our existence and hence "home-grown" or "from our farm" are rather romantic feudal concepts. But, I, dear friends have a long lineage of "landlords", commonly (de) recognized as Zamidaars in Bengali. That too, both from my paternal and maternal side. Despite the feudal system and landlordship being abolished now, needless to say, my parents revel in the lineage and have their own ways of reinforcing it in GeNext, much to our disdain. The above is a perfect case in point. But to carry Five kilo of potatoes as a separate luggage? Jeees!
I was too dumbstruck to take the conversation any further, even though Ma picked up her favourite refrain " Aar joddin achi, toke diye jai...erpor toh aar keu debey na." Thank God for small mercies to the last bit!
And let me tell you here, Ma comes from a different planet altogether. Ask her for a grain or a chaff and she'll get the whole paddy field for you. But very few people really honour the worth of such women. Sadly, including self.

Losing out

Life has its own ways to reward and punish. Even though I know we only reap what we sow and how we sow it.
I've had my share of rewards. Now it's time for punishments.

Rot in Hell.

20 minutes

Walking down alone, along the deserted pavement by a busy roadside at 6pm.

The clickety click of the three-inch heels; kicking up a little dust with every step. Licking on my favourite Kwality Walls Orange stick icecream; humming “It’s my life” and feeling the gentle evening breeze softly caress my tired face.

Never knew a walk back from office to home could be this blissful.

I love my evening walks these days. I have 20 minutes all to myself. To walk the way I want. Eat what I want. Let my thoughts wander where they want. Weave my dreams out of incoherent thoughts. It’s my space, all mine. It’s my life.